Your Money Script

Power Player  |  Victim  |  Masquerader  |  Craver  |  Coupon Clipper
Hoarder  |  Procrastinator  |  Prince/Princess  |  Gambler  |  Co-Dependent

You need to know your financial personality to find out what's holding you back from prosperity. When you know what's stopping you from being wealthy, only then can you overcome the obstacles.

Check the statements that feel true for you. When answering these questions, think about how you were before you developed insight into your own character - think about your attitudes when you were younger and less wise than you are now.

 

Your Money Script: The Power Player

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Power Player.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Power Player.

	I am the best person in the family to be in charge of money issues.
	I protect my family's money from a hostile world.
	Other people might think I'm controlling about money, but I feel like I'm bringing needed strength to the situation.
	I would rather fight a worthy battle, exposing my true friends and enemies, than have things go my way easily.
	This world consists of winners and losers in the sphere of money. Its better to be a winner.
	I feel contempt for weaker people who don't deal with money well.
	If someone cheats me or is dishonest with me about money, I will avenge that injustice.
	I don't mind having conflict with family members about money, it brings out my fighting spirit.

The Power Player

Underlying Emotional Set: Anger

Basic Statement: Others Cannot be Trusted; I Have to be in Charge

Money Represents: Power over Others; Parental power over him in childhood.

Fear: A hostile world that is waiting to take away whatever is not well protected.

Anger: There is no justice except what power provides.

Shame: Any vulnerability is something that must be well hidden.

Self-Soothes by: Trying to gain increasing control of money and power.

Avenues for Growth and Integration: Learning to recognize the underlying connection with others; and learning to value process over power.

Descriptive Paragraph: The Power Player feels that he lives in a hostile world. Having learned in childhood both of his exceptional qualities (often from the mother), and met also with distrust and competition (often from the father), the controller feels both entitled and under attack. This will often play out with money in a feeling of entitlement. The self-talk from the entitled side of him says "you are great and powerful"; The self talk from the vulnerable side of him says "you are worthless unless you achieve great wealth and power." He is thereby caught in

 

Your Money Script: The Victim

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Victim.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Victim.

	I have bad money Karma -- people do not give me what I deserve.
	I would like to save, but it is just not possible right now ... maybe I will get started later.
	Sometimes I feel so down, I just don't care what my money picture is.
	I will do what you tell me about money, but I will resent you.
	My money situation will hurt you more than it hurts me.
	It is someone else's fault that I am in my money situation, if I changed it would only let them off the hook.
	I am tired of having others call the shots about my pay and money situation.
	I can bear the suffering that comes from lack of money better than others could.I can bear the suffering that comes from lack of money better than others could.

The Victim

Basic Statement: There will never be enough for me.

Underlying Emotional Set: Anger

Money Represents: The Controlling, Withholding Parent.

Fear: I will be punished and left hurt and destitute.

Anger: His true anger is at his controlling or abandoning parents, but he turns that anger on himself in an attempt to show them how much they have hurt him.

Shame: The Victim may be ashamed of his self-defeating position, but is more locked into anger at others and self defeating behavior than he is bound by shame. He may in fact take a certain masochistic pride in his self imposed victimization.

Self-Soothes by: Suffering

Avenues for Growth and Integration: Dealing effectively with anger so that it does not get retroflected (turned back in on the self). Learning to take responsibility for his own financial well being and letting go of the blaming of others.

Descriptive Paragraph: The victim feels cheated with regard to money. Over-controlled in childhood by parents who did not allow him sufficient autonomy, the victim has a passive-aggressive streak. In childhood, he could not assert autonomy with his parents directly, so he asserted some control by not doing what was demanded of him. The Victim may have a tendency toward self-defeating financial behavior such as going into debt, not paying bills or otherwise not taking care of his financial business. There is sometimes a general lack of self-care with the Victim, and he can be difficult to help as it sometimes seems as if he is trying to prove a point with his self-defeating behavior.

 

Your Money Script: The Masquerader

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Masquerader.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Masquerader.

	I care what others think about my money situation.
	Looking successful is very important to me.
	Sometimes I feel down and scared about my money situation, but I don't let others see me sweat.
	I am judged by what I produce financially.
	I have high standards of others, I like to be around winning, financially successful people.
	Sometimes I feel on top of the world about my money situation, at other times I feel worthless.
	I spend more than I should on "image" things like cars and clothes.
	Saving is less important to me than getting things that make me feel good about myself.

The Masquerader

Basic Statement: Money and success bolster my Self Esteem.

Underlying Emotional Set: Shame

Money Represents: A way of winning the admiration of others.

Fear: His underlying poor financial self-esteem will be revealed.

Anger: He is not appreciated for his "true self"; He feels angry that he apparently needs to earn others' love and respect through constant spending and giving the appearance of affluence.

Shame: In some ways the masquerader is the most shame based of the ten scripts; He can feel ashamed that his true financial picture is not acceptable to others or to himself. The Masquerader may in fact be very well off financially, but still may feel inadequate in some ways. He may carry a very inflated image of what success is and may feel down on himself when he fails to attain perfection.

Self-Soothes by: Supporting the facade.

Avenues for Growth and Integration: Learning to accept his own fears and frailties with regard to money. Learning to derive his financial self-esteem not by comparing himself with an inflated idea of financial perfection, but by accepting his humanness and imperfections.

Descriptive Paragraph: The Masquerader uses money as a vehicle for achieving self-respect and the respect of others. In his world, there are winners and losers. The Masquerader is always precariously close to feeling like a loser. This fear of loss of self-esteem keeps him constantly on a search for greater and greater wealth and success or at least the trappings of wealth. He is forever comparing himself to others. In his mind there is always a top-dog and an underdog in every relationship. Having been loved in childhood for what he could achieve, rather than for his essential self, he uses money to elevate himself and thereby make himself feel acceptable and lovable.

 

Your Money Script: The Craver

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Craver.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Craver.

	Shopping helps me soothe my anxiety and relieve my feelings of loneliness or emptiness.
	I often spend more than I can afford without considering the consequences.
	I can swing back and forth between the extremes of feeling very giving and very needy with money.
	It is hard is hard for me to find a middle ground between depriving myself and over-indulging myself with money.
	I sometimes feel it is unfair that I am not being taken care of as I feel I deserve to be.
	I can feel unappreciated and resentful when others take advantage of my generosity.
	I sometimes feel angry and envious when others can afford luxuries that I would like to have.
	It is easy for me to overextend myself by helping others too much financially.

The Craver

Basic Statement: Spending money fills me up when I feel unsettled and needy.

Underlying Emotional Set: Shame

Money Represents: The Fulfillment of Unmet Interpersonal Needs

Fear: His underlying poor financial self-esteem will be revealed.

Anger: Others do not consider her needs, and seem to be self-centered. She feels passed over and has a chronic sense of low-grade anger and hurt.

Shame: Her needs were shamed in childhood, and her needs are now a source of shame for her. She may be ashamed of the way she spends, or she may be ashamed of the desire she has to treat herself to the things she wants.

Self-Soothes by: Shopping; Gift Giving;

Avenues for Growth and Integration: To develop a healthy relationship with her emotional and financial needs. To the extent that spending may have become a substitute for meeting emotional needs, she will grow by developing clarity around her acting out her emotional needs through spending.

Descriptive Paragraph: The craver tries to fill herself up with money. Not having had her needs met in early childhood, she uses money to fulfill emotional needs. She does not know how to express her emotional needs directly, and frequently is involved in unfulfilling relationships. She may over-spend and splurge on herself in a vain attempt at taking care of needs with money that can only be fulfilled through intimacy. Other cravers will deny themselves what they want, and will feel deprived.

 

Your Money Script: The Coupon Clipper

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Coupon Clipper.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Coupon Clipper.

	I like to keep my money readily accessible so that I can feel in control.
	It's important for me to feel like I spend carefully and wisely
	A good bargain is often more important to me than the best quality.
	It is hard for me to look to others for others for advice or help with money management.
	I like to think of myself as shrewd -- someone who cannot be taken advantage of.
	It feels almost sinful for me to spend money on my own pleasure or development.
	Iım very critical of those I consider to be show-offs with their money
	I would much rather put a hundred dollars into my savings account than have a night on the town or a new outfit.

The Coupon Clipper

Basic Statement: It feels overwhelming to look at the big picture, so I focus on the details, often stepping over a dollar to pick up a dime.

Underlying Emotional Set: Fear

Money Represents: A sense of control in a scary, chaotic world.

Fear: Loss of control; A feeling that poverty is lurking right around the corner, even when that is far from the truth of the situation. A compulsion to save pennies gives a sense of security ... if he can control the money minutia, the big picture, which is very scary, may not come into view. A lack of trust in others and faith in life.

Anger: Anger is less pronounced in this script than fear. However, often there is anger at the parents who did not convey a sense of security to the youngster.

Shame: There is a sense of shame often of childhood poverty or other childhood struggles. There is a feeling of constant vigilance required to maintain current financial standing. A fear of loss of face which is felt to be utterly disastrous.

Self-Soothes by: bargain hunting and coupon clipping

Avenues for Growth and Integration: To develop a healthy relationship with her emotional and financial needs. To the extent that spending may have become a substitute for meeting emotional needs, she will grow by developing clarity around her acting out her emotional needs through spending.

Descriptive Paragraph: A feeling of "never enough" besieges the Coupon Clipper, even if she may be ensconced in a comfortable lifestyle with money in the bank. There is always the feeling that disaster lurks just around the corner. The bargain hunter is the product of a precarious childhood. This may have been due to financial circumstances or to a feeling of emotional scarcity. Because her family was unable, for whatever reason, to provide her with a sense of security and stability, the bargain hunter dev eloped a heightened sense of alertness. Her carefulness and vigilance may lead to financial success but can never bring her the sense of security she craves. Her task is to develop a sense of trust both in the flow of life and in her own capacity to keep her footing amid shifting currents.

 

Your Money Script: The Hoarder

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Hoarder.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Hoarder.

	Money is a security blanket.
	The most important thing one can pass on to one's children is a sufficient amount of money.
	The worth of a man is judged by the size of the fortune he is able to amass.
	Money can be used as a bastion against an unpredictable future.
	Information about money is something to be closely guarded.
	Money is life's most serious concern.
	I'm willing to be generous with my children if they prove themselves responsible and prudent.
	The object is not pleasure or power, but security.

The Hoarder

Basic Statement: Life is a precarious business -- only by amassing an ever-increasing amount of money can I keep my family and myself safe.

Underlying Emotional Set: Fear

Money Represents: A wall of defense in a world he perceives as alienated, dangerous, and merciless,.

Fear: Life will crush him; People will hurt him.

Anger: That he is so alone and that no one seems to care about him.

Shame: He is ashamed of his human, vulnerable side; He feels that he must not show his feelings or others will ridicule him.

Self-Soothes by: Attempting to amass greater amounts of money

Avenues for Growth and Integration: To begin to perceive that his prison is of his own making; that there is the possibility for connection with others and to reveal his more vulnerable side. To allow for more connection and love of others, and a little more faith that the Universe can be abundant.

Descriptive Paragraph: The Hoarder is distinct from the coupon clipper in that the focus is on amassing more and more money rather than holding on tightly what is already there. The Hoarder knows at his core that the world is an unfriendly place and that there can never be too much protection for himself and for those he loves. The message learned in early childhood was better safe than sorry and the safety seeker spends his life putting the bricks of his fortress carefully in place. Sadly he can often find to his dismay, that the fortress, while providing safety, also cuts him off from satisfying relationships and leaves him isolated. Only by allowing himself to step out from behind the walls he has constructed and risk exposing himself to the joys and terrors of life can he develop a sense of inner peacefulness which he has so vainly sought through amassing financial riches.

Your Money Script: The Procrastinator

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Procrastinator.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Procrastinator.

	I know I need to put money aside, but something always seems to interfere.
	I have all I can do to deal with the present, the future seems a long way off.
	I know how to handle money "the right way" but any move to do so makes me too anxious.
	To really look at my financial situation feels very scary, so I put it off.
	I know that I need to get my financial and other papers in order, but I don't make it a priority.
	I would like to talk to a financial planning professional at some point, but I'm afraid they would put demand on me that would be too much.
	I can get very scared and angry at myself for my lack of good money management.
	Sometimes I feel frozen and cannot seem to deal with financial tasks.

The Procrastinator

Basic Statement: I'll Deal with it Next Week.

Underlying Emotional Set: Fear

Money Represents: Unpleasant Reality and the Giving up of Fantasy in order to deal with reality

Fear: That it will all come crashing down on him. His procrastination will do him in.

Anger: He feels that he can never get his head above water financially; anger at others when they force him to look at his avoidance.

Shame: of neglected obligations; of his seeming incapacity to deal with money issues in a timely way.

Self-Soothes by: Denial; Keeps his head in the sand.

Avenues for Growth and Integration: To begin to really feel and accept the connection between what one does today and what happens tomorrow. Overcoming the fear of facing into today's challenges.

Descriptive Paragraph: The procrastinator has learned that the term "cold hard reality" is only too apt. Doubting his own place in the world and his own capacity to establish one, the procrastinator takes refuge in rosy colored, soft edged fantasies. He will often go to great lengths to avoid having his illusions shattered. The idea of asserting himself in the world in a meaningful way is both foreign and frightening. Safer to assume a passive, agreeable persona which allows him to slip through the world unnoticed. This makes it possible for the procrastinator to focus his energy inwardly, maintaining his inner world where he feels safest.

 

Your Money Script: The Prince-Princess

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Prince-Princess.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Prince-Princess.

	I usually feel that there will be plenty for me, so it comes as a shock when there is not.
	It seems only fair that I should be provided for comfortably.
	Dealing with the nitty-gritty of money is boring and irritating to me.
	I sometimes spend as if the sky is the limit, and then get scared when faced with my financial limitations.
	I sometimes make generous gestures, and then realize that I have overextended myself.
	The idea of having to plan for the future can sometimes feel foreign to me.
	My parents made me feel as if I would always be taken care of, and it is quite jarring to find that is not necessarily the case.
	I wasn't given the tools to understand and deal with money effectively and so sometimes can feel overwhelmed by dealing with money issues.

The Prince-Princess

Basic Statement: I am entitled to be provided for.

Underlying Emotional Set: Grandiosity

Money Represents: The Illusions of Childhood: The Omnipotence of the Parent

Fear: That the bubble will burst, and that the apparent promise of being taken care of will prove to have been untrue.

Anger: The perceived promises of the parent or spouse of unending support are not as certain as he/she feels he has been promised. A sense of having been abandoned or betrayed.

Shame: Of his failure to take responsibility for himself. Feels unprepared for the challenges he must face in life.

Self-Soothes by: Living as if he has no responsibility

Avenues for Growth and Integration: Taking responsibility for his own financial well-being. Dealing with money issues in a courageous and straightforward manner.

Descriptive Paragraph: The Prince lives in a world without limitations. He can feel unencumbered by financial reality, and then feel terrified when he realizes that the checking account is overdrawn. Given a sense of his specialness by his parents and a feeling of unreality about financial limits, he is finds it difficult to acknowledge either necessary limitations on spending, or realistic expectations of earning. His task is to come to grips with his almost childlike perception of himself as one who should be provided for, and to accept responsibility for living within his means. An adult sense of sense of responsibility and empowerment can allow him to truly make use of his talents and will give him a sense of grounding in the world.

 

Your Money Script: The Gambler

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Gambler.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Gambler.

	When I take a high risk, I feel a rush of excitement, of aliveness.
	I can work with my investments on-line for hours at a time, and not notice the time gone by.
	I sometimes make financial moves that others would consider too risky.
	I keep some of my financial dealings hidden from my family.
	I sometimes cannot wait to get away from people so I can get on-line.
	I love the high when my risks pay off.
	I can get very angry at myself when I lose on a gamble.
	I sometimes feel more excited about my money gambles than I do about the people in my life.

The Gambler

Basic Statement: Risk taking with money is like a drug: I'd rather have the rush of getting it fast than the boredom of careful planning.

Underlying Emotional Set: Addiction

Money Represents: Excitement -- a rush.

Fear: Of losing it all after taking an unwise amount of risk.

Anger: At self for lack of control; At others for demanding that he act more responsibly.

Shame: of his addiction to high risk; of underlying depression.

Self-Soothes by: Looking for a windfall; a quick fix; a rush

Avenues for Growth and Integration: Working a twelve-step program to bring the addiction under control.

Descriptive Paragraph: Underlying it all for the gambler is a state of depression and despair. If he were to slow down enough to feel his emotions, he might feel a sense of desperation. He cannot psychologically afford to feel these emotions, so he channels his energy into high-risk financial schemes. The riskiness of these schemes serves many functions for him psychologically. There is, of course, the possibility of a big payoff if the scheme succeeds in making money, and there is the rush that goes with the big payoff. There is also a rush in the risk itself - putting it all on the line for a gamble. This intensity moves his attention away from his depression and relationships, and serves as a defense against feeling.

 

Your Money Script: The Co-Dependent

If you check five or more statements here, then you are the Co-Dependent.

Read the information below the test to learn more about the Co-Dependent.

	I usually leave money decisions up to my partner.
	I don't think of myself where money is concerned -- I focus more on the money needs of others.
	When I feel uncomfortable with the decisions my partner makes, I usually try to smooth things over, rather than confront him.
	I often feel invisible in my relationships.
	I often act is if my primary role is to support my partner's money decisions, even though a part of me would like to be more involved.
	I lack confidence in my ability to make good money decisions.
	I sometimes feel that I am not worthy of good self-care.
	I am often ruled by fear where money is concerned.

The Co-Dependent

Basic Statement: I keep the peace by leaving money issues up to my partner.

Underlying Emotional Set: Addiction

Money Represents: A way of appeasing the other, to keep him/her from abandoning.

Fear: The partner will abandon him/her if she deals directly with difficult issues.

Anger: That she feels unattended to and invisible.

Shame: The Supporter/Co-dependent often feels a deep and general sense of shame.

Self-Soothes by: Making herself invisible; Meeting the needs of others; Losing herself in others.

Avenues for Growth and Integration: Supporting her own needs and feelings. Setting appropriate boundaries and limits with others.

Descriptive Paragraph: The money co-dependent seeks to please others in her relationships. Many of this script have grown up in a household focused on an addictive or self-absorbed and demanding parent. The money co-dependent sets aside her own needs in an effort to please her partner. The partner may or may not be making a mess of things financially, but in either case, the money co-dependent is more concerned with propping him up than in paying attention to and actualizing her own needs. 

 

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